Money makes the world go round

I am finally back and breaking the silence :) Enjoy!
Lyrics: Money, Money, Money [Joel Grey]


M.C. and SALLY:
Money makes the world go round
The world go round, the world go round
Money makes the world go round
It makes the world go round

A mark, a yen, a buck or a pound
A buck or a pound, a buck or a pound
Is all that makes the world go round
That clinking, clanking sound
Can make the world go round

Money, money, money, money
Money, money, money, money
Money, money, money, money, money

If you happen to be rich and you feel like a night's
entertainment
You can pay for a gay escapade
If you happen to be rich, and alone, and you need
A companion, you can ring tingaling for the maid

If you happen to be rich and you find you are left by your
lover
Tho you moan and you groan quite a lot
You can take it on the chin
Call a cab, and begin to recover on your fourteen carat
yacht

Money makes the world go round
The world go round, the world go round
Money makes the world go round
Of that we both are sure
On being poor

Money, money, money, money
Money, money, money, money
Money, money, money, money, mon

When you haven't any coal in the stove and you freeze
In the winter and you curse to the wind at your fate
When you haven't any shoes on your feet and your coat's
thin as paper
And you look thirty pounds underweight

When you go to get a word of advice from the fat little
pastor
He will tell you to love evermore
But when hunger comes to rap, rat-a-tat, rat-a-tat
At the window, see how love flies out the door

For money makes the world go round
The world go round, the world go round
Money makes the world go round
The clinking, clanking sound of money

Money, money, money, money, money, money, money
Get a little, get a little
Money, money, money, money
Mark, a yen, a buck or a pound
That clinking, clanking, clunking sound
Is all that makes the world go round
It makes the world go round

Hiatus

So the holidays have finally hit South Africa : D some of us will be lounging around on beaches, others are working (yay...not). Since I'll be working and lounging (on the couch that is) Under the Sun will be on hiatus until the 17th of June. Enjoy life people, I'll be back before you know it!

A Murderous Brain Teaser: The Backwards Poem

Ladies and Gentlemen, skinny and stout,
I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about;
The Admission is free, so pay at the door,
Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight;
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.

A blind man came to watch fair play,
A mute man came to shout "Hooray!"
A deaf policeman heard the noise and
Came to stop those two dead boys.

He lived on the corner in the middle of the block,
In a two-story house on a vacant lot;
A man with no legs came walking by,
and kicked the lawman in his thigh.

He crashed through a wall without making a sound,
into a dry creek bed and suddenly drowned;
The long black hearse came to cart him away,
But he ran for his life and is still gone today.

I watched from the corner of the big round table,
The only eyewitness to facts of my fable;
But if you doubt my lies are true,
Just ask the blind man, he saw it too.

Jacob Zuma Cartoons: Had To Happen Sometime!

Instead of following up on Julius Malema, I have decided to focus on the newest political clown, Jacob Zuma. The now well-known artist Brett Murray painted the president posing with.... The South African Crown Jewels in full view. This was obviously a satire of the president's inability to pass by a pretty woman without throwing some cows at her dad and whisking her off. "The Spear" instantly became famous after a lawsuit from the ANC, protests, a German buyer, and being vandalised on 22 May. Of course all fingers were pointed at the Apartheid so blah blah nothing new. The best part about this is the jokes, which will follow:

WARNING! NOT FOR ZUMA FANS!

The painting after being vandalised. I guess "The Spear" is "The Paint Splatter" now.

The brilliant Zapiro with his take on the subject.

Comparing Zuma's presidency to that of Nelson Mandela.

It has been rated I see.

Doesn't the president just have the best influence on kids?

I think Zuma should be thanking Brett Murray, it doesn't even look like Jakes!


So all these jokes, but the biggest joke of all is: Has anyone asked the first wives how accurate the painting really is?

 AG SHAME!

Why Women Torture Themselves With High Heels

There's no denying that a woman in 4 inch heels turns heads. There's also no denying that the woman in question is faking her smile while she cries inwardly at the pain her poor toes are going through. The reasons we do this to ourselves differ according to every woman. I like high heels because they give me confidence and make me feel all grown up and smart. Some women use them to impress their friends and colleagues, while some of the single ladies (no-one say Beyonce) obviously use them to find a man.

But these gorgeous shoes are bad for your wallet and your muscles. Still, there we go, torturing our feet so we can feel better emotionally. How sad is that? The general consensus is that heels make you look skinnier, improve your posture and give your confidence a major boost, which makes you more attractive. And there isn't just one type of torture, oh no, there are tons of types to make your toes bleed like:

Wedges, which give a safe but still demurely sexy appearance.

The lower length heel, which shows that you want to be more daring but aren't sure how to get there or pull it off.

Platform high heels (a personal favourite) which show you are an insane, creative person and that you have a very high pain threshold.

Gladiator heels for the girls in touch with their ancient civilisation sides.

The ankle boot, for the sexy but cold during winter.

The high heeled boots, for the inner dominatrix.

  And, finally, shoes that are only appropriate to be seen in the Rocky Horror Picture Show.


Well......... At least they make us look skinny, right?

Exam Horror Strikes Again

It is that time again, time for coffee overloads, paper cuts and perpetual migraines. Exams have come once again to plague the students of South Africa. So tonight, I leave you with some funnies to lighten the horror.

And lastly....

DA's peaceful march to Cosatu turns violent

On Tuesday, May 15th, the DA's peaceful protest march to hand over a memo to the union, Cosatu, degenerated into violence when Cosatu members attacked protesters with stones and bricks in Braamfontein. Tiaan Kotze was injured during this protest seriously when a rock hit him above his right eye.

The memorandum that the DA wanted to deliver was on Cosatu's opposition to the "Youth Wage subsidy". The "Youth Wage subsidy" is aimed at young people aged between 18 and 25 jobs to create jobs at existing companies. The grant can help to create jobs for up to 423 000 young people and it is strongly supported by the DA. But Cosatu claims that it will cause older, more experienced workers to be replaced and that they will end up unemployed. The DA believes that these fears are irrational and that the subsidy may be structured so that it will accommodate everyone.

 Tiaan Kotze told The Star newspaper that he had his own "struggle credentials". He was upset about the violence that broke out during the DA's peaceful march. Kotzé, 23, is an operations manager of the DA in Potchefstroom. He specifically traveled to Johannesburg for the march and he will wear the scars from the attack on his face for life. Kotze is one of the young people of South Africa who have earned the right to be heard. Cosatu had no reason to take  violent action, and the police finally had to use tear gas and rubber bullets to disperse the crowd .

It is immoral that in a democratic country, the idea is that only some groups may be allowed to protest. An ANC Youth League member, made the following statement on Facebook, "DA marching to Cosatu is like a black man boasting about bis karate skills to a Japanese guy." It's time that the young people of our country start listening to each other. Our problems can not be solved by violence. We are all citizens with equal rights, so we have the right to protest and freedom of speech. The right to be heard.

 

 

 

Moms And The Horror of Shopping

Today I will start by wishing all the mothers out there a very happy mother's day. And now I will pose my question (sorry, today's one is for the girls). Why is shopping always fun until you have to go with your mom? And I don't mean shopping for groceries, I mean for clothes.

I have gone clothes shopping on my own or with my friends several times. That way we can talk and joke, or I can just browse on my own time. When shopping with my mom, it gets really difficult.

Somehow whenever she goes shopping with me it's hot, there are thousands of rude people, I'm always hungry or in a bad mood and the clothes never suit my taste. Alternatively, when you accompany her to try on clothes she always takes hours to choose something you pointed out when you first walked into the stupid store.

I don't know, maybe I'm just bitter from past experience.

Truth is we love our mom's but we hate shopping with them because we feel inhibited. We're too ashamed to try on the daring clothes we normally would, so we come home with bags and bags full of nun-worthy clothing. Plus, shopping on your own makes you feel all kick-ass and grown up because you're being independent.

My mom isn't that bad at least, I've heard scary stories of mom's that force their daughters to buy only polo necks and floor length skirts! This wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact that your teenage years are when you're supposed to rebel and experiment.

My suggestion? Give your mom either a "Get with the times" speech, or get wine farms to start handing out samples in malls. Or, ask your dad to go with you instead. I'm sure he'll be so bored after a while he'll just hand over his credit card and leave. Score :D

The Baby in Nelson Mandela Square

Today, sitting at a restaurant in Nelson Mandela Square, I saw a woman carrying her baby tied to her back. Now for those of you who aren't familiar with Africa or its traditions, this is an everyday occurrence. From the age of three months the child in their care is carried in a blanket tied to their backs. I was carried like that when I was little, and so was three quarters of our population.

So why was this so interesting to me? Its interesting because African women are changing.

Gone are the days when they were fully obedient to men and elders. Now they go to universities and send their sons and daughters too, to build a better future. They are impeccably dressed in the latest fashions, down to toe-curling high-heels. But still, the baby is put in a blanket and tied to their backs.

Its an interesting mix of old tradition and modernisation. It shows that even though we change, we still hold on to where we come from.

That's why I smiled when I saw a baby on a woman's back.

Doctors are Monkeys

So I am a day late, and for that I'm sorry. Recovering from a sucky operation in a tiny mining town with really bad Internet connection has delayed me.

So last week Monday I had the dreaded tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy. Which seemingly went well until the next day, when I couldn't keep anything down. Upon leaving the hospital and going to visit my family I found out that the surgeon made a teeny tiny little mistake. When removing my tonsils, he hurt the nerves connected to my gag reflex. Meaning anything I swallowed triggered the gag reflex and I became the victim of involuntary bulimia. Which is just what I needed. Not.

After five days of dehydration and starvation I finally got myself eating, but it sucked. It hurt like a bitch, and I can tell you that stomach acid running over an open internal wound sucks even more.

I'll write something more interesting at the end of this week. All this experience has proved to me is what I've always known: Doctors are morons. Sorry, but if you study for eight or nine years and then have to spend your life practising you know there's a problem.

Now I'm going to finish the toffee I've stolen from the cupboard and proceed to be so feverish they should put me on the weather charts.

 Happy Monday everyone.

Well, they do say an apple a day....

Minor Operations: When Everyone Thinks You're Screwed

So during my school vacation (its always during vacation!) it was discovered that after nearly three months of being constantly sick, I had tonsillitis. So bad, that even though this was the first time, I was told to have them removed immediately. We went to see a specialist, and Bob's your uncle the operating date was set for Monday the 23rd of April. Meaning tomorrow.

The funny thing is that I am completely fine. I'm not stressed, or worried, I just want it over with. In fact I'm pretty excited to spend my first night in a hospital. Everyone else however, is not taking it so well. And that's putting it very lightly.

My mom has religiously bought medicine, and now provisions for my recovery week. Provisions like kid's toothpaste, marshmallows and purity (baby slop). She has sworn not to leave my side until she is forced to.

My stepfather, who generally keeps his distance when I'm sick, has taken to giving me inspirational and motivational speeches every five minutes. Which sort of makes me feel more like I'm going off to war instead of getting a simple tonsillectomy.

My step mom has advised strongly against taking my tonsils out, since I may need them in the future. I have no idea what she thinks I'll do with them. My father has decided to keep his distance and only said good luck now and then. I almost prefer that.

My very nosey grandmother phones every chance to tell me that I must:" Instruct your mother to look after you properly." She then phones my mom anyway to harass her.

My teachers look at me like I'm a mental patient, my friends say goodbye as if they'll never see me again and I'm pretty sure my boyfriend is going grey. The only other happy person about it is my cousin's boyfriend who suggested that i ask for my tonsils in a jar, add some glow stick juice and make a nightlight. Are we seriously the only ones that don't think its that major?

A tonsillectomy is a pretty straight forward 20 to 30 minute operation which has been done millions of times. The recovery time is about a week. I don't understand why people are pretending I'm going to die. Do they like the drama? Do they want to comfort themselves? Or do they just want to scare the crap out of me? Either way, I'll report back next week.

P.S We reached more than a thousand page views this week. The first milestone. Thanks to everyone reading :)

The Titanic: 100 Years Later

April 14th, on an icy night, and on the early hours of April 15th, the RMS Titanic plunged to the depth of the ocean, killing 1514 people. This year marks the 100 year anniversary of the sunken vessel. I thought I'd put up a few pictures to remember the biggest maritime disaster of all time.

The Titanic soon after its departure on April 10th, 1912

The Titanic as she might have sunk

Part of the wreck on the ocean bed

The other half of the wreck

Haunting proof of someone that was once living

A survivor, known as the "Unsinkable Molly Brown". She persuaded one of the lifeboats to go back and rescue more survivors

The band that never stopped playing

One of the propellers

A newspaper article announces the loss of hope

The port side of the Titanic, before the tragedy

Many lives changed in the aftermath. Some questions remain unanswered. But 100 years later, we still grieve the loss, and wonder what could have saved those people on that night of unexpected terror.

Julius Malema: Part 1 Of The Madness

Politics in any country is difficult, but in South Africa it’s a wild, mud-slinging, playground scuffle with lots of name calling to go around. The forerunner of this is, of course, Mr. Julius Malema.

He was born to a single mother and joined some type of anti-Apartheid group at age 9, where his job was putting up posters. Now I, as a history lover, know that several of our leaders were major Apartheid's fighters in the Struggle. It just annoys me that Malema pretends he was rioting and imprisoned when in actual fact he was just a child.

And looking at the present, what has he really done for South Africa as a leader? You know, apart from spreading hate speech and attacking BBC journalists? He petitions for mines to be nationalised, and makes scandalous headlines but that’s about it. Who could forget the ANC Youth League rally in the poorest of townships where he,” Felt the people’s pain and suffering,” with a designer suit and Rolex?

Furthermore he slanders other politicians, and even the president who technically employs him. If he isn't singing “Shoot the Boer” (shoot the farmer) then he's calling Helen Zille a political toddler. I find it hard to figure out if he's the puppet master or if he's dancing to someone else’s strings.

Apartheid ended in 1994. Racism was supposed to die out when the new generation was born. Instead, Julius is teaching the youth hate speech and prejudice. He has been suspended, but I sense this is only the beginning.

Can’t we sing:”Shoot the slimy-former-ANC-Youth-League-president-with-a-bazooka" instead?

Fallen Stars

Recently in South Africa we have lost many performers to untimely deaths. The most recent of these was Andrew Thompson who committed suicide. He was 26. This week I would like to pay tribute to them. This is to all the fallen stars.

(Video courtesy of Elize Smit-Labuschagne)

Some New Poetry

So I've been trying my hand at poetry again. I'm not that good yet, but I'm trying!

Once

Once, we laughed together.
Talked in stormy weather.
Once, we discussed the worlds.
Our wisdom, shiny pearls.

Once, we were friends.

Now there's only hatred.
Sulky stares and breath baited.
No sympathy or smile,
Just the cold every while.

Once, we were friends.

(The next one is Afrikaans, so I'll put up a translation)

Die Kind

Die kind                                                   The child
sit stil                                                       sits quietly
aan tafel                                                   at the table   
en se                                                         and says 
 niks                                                         nothing 
vir hulle.                                                  to them.   
Sy lyk                                                       She looks
mooi netjies                                             pretty and decent
in wit                                                       in white
maar bloei                                                but bleeds
van binne.                                                 from within
Die kind                                                    The child
sit stil                                                        sits quietly
aan tafel                                                     at the table
en se                                                           and says
 niks                                                           nothing
vir hulle.                                                    to them.

South African Teens and Gays: The Attitude

South Africa was the fifth country in the world, and the first in Africa to legalise same-sex marriages. The law also allows one partner to take care of the other’s affairs in the event of death. For a third-world country with more than its fair share of political problems, this was a massive breakthrough. It showed that we were changing, moving forward as a country and as people.

But just like many new ideas, there was scorn, there was outcry, and there was indifference. Eventually though, came acceptance. It wasn't loud or obvious, but subtle, and it happened all over the country.

Unfortunately the youth is still very undecided.

One of my very good friends, writer of Phwl of the now, is an openly gay teen in high school. I have so much respect for him, and the strength he has as a person. He isn't the only gay friend I have, there are several. But it saddens me that many of them don’t want to be open or honest about who they are because they fear retribution from their classmates. Ive never seen the point in bullying, so this just drives me crazy.

To me, they're just ordinary people. I don't believe in judgement or prejudice, even though its sometimes inevitable. Shouldn't you look at the type of person someone is instead of who they love? does it matter if its a great person? Answer: it doesn't.

Try changing your point of view for once. You may gain fabulous friends (howzit Boeta!)

Everyone has the right to be who they are, and don’t deserve to be discriminated against

phwlofthenow.blogspot.com

My essay on Othello: DRAMA!

Just picture it: You live in a world where everyone lives in a state of white, middle-class bliss. Your parents, friends and colleagues are white.Then on an outing to the theatre you see a play in which a black man kisses a white girl. Shocked and outraged at such blasphemy, you leave the theatre and swear never to speak of this Othello rubbish again. This was the attitude of many Elizabethan audiences.

“If Othello didn’t begin as a play about race, history has made it one.”

With all the prejudice surrounding the racial aspect, it is very possible that the entirety of the character Othello is not fully appreciated. Race is a part of it, but a rather small one. I will attempt to explain him, and whether he is a tragic hero or not.

Generally, a tragic hero is of a noble or high stature with one major fault, like being easily blinded by pride. In the duration of the play the hero will have a downfall, followed by enlightenment and finally his death.

In the case of Othello it is easy to assume he has had a hard life. Racism was rife in that time, and in fact his name is not even mentioned until well into Act 1, Scene 3. Rather, he is referred to by derogatory terms. He is obviously an outsider, shunned by most people due to his skin colour. But despite this he is honoured for his ability as a soldier and leader, therefore he has a high ranking position. It is the story of his travels and his exotic appearance that makes Desdemona fall in love with him. Their relationship is pure, happy and loving.

But, like many too good to be true things, Othello has one major flaw. Apart from being naive and unsophisticated, his flaw is his passion. Passion, being such a strong emotion, easily turns to distrust, jealousy or hatred, and it is this that leads to the death of Desdemona.

It is Iago who preys  on this flaw like a vulture. Iago is naturally gifted at noticing the emotions  and flaws of others, and he uses this “gift” to control them. Iago knows that Othello is quick to anger and does not think clearly in that state,”And passion, having my best judgement collied..”, so he uses it against him. Othello becomes a pawn to Iago, completely controlled.

Othello’s downfall is the murder of Desdemona. Believing, thanks to Iago’s lies, that she had committed adultery with Cassio, he smothers her upon their marital bed. When the truth is revealed Othello experiences enlightenment, realising he had murdered his innocent wife on a jealous whim. Eventually he begs the gentlemen,” Speak of me as I am...Of one who loved not wisely, but too well. Of one not easily jealous...”, in an attempt to save his reputation. He kills himself to escape the burden of shame he would have to carry back to Venice. The play ends in a bloodbath with several dead.

When reading or watching Othello, it is obvious that Shakespeare used the tried and tested method of a classic tragedy in his writing. Othello is a typical tragic hero, and the strong emotions like passion prove this is a tragedy. The hero’s struggle against unimaginable odds, the violence and the murder was a major ticket seller in Elizabethan times. As everything from the Collosseum’s gladiator games to the Rocky Horror Picture Show has proven, sex and blood sells.

Othello also has the recurring “Wheel of Fortune” theme used in many plays., where a person may experience a season of luck and well being to a season of despair and misfortune. Shakespeare was well informed as to what audiences wanted and expected to see.

Furthermore, the success of Othello as a tragedy is due to the universal themes. The play manages to be spectacular fantasy yet completely relatable at the same time. An example of this is the setting (Venice, Cyprus) in contrast with the situations (Moving to a new place, Experiencing something new)

This is also the reason Shakespeare’s plays are still revered in modern times. His ability to draw audiences away from their normal circumstances while making them confront it at the same time is masterly. That is why Othello: Merchant of Venice is still applicable today.

We cannot all be masters, nor all masters Cannot be truly follow’d.

Othello. ACT I Scene 1.

Nick Vujicic: No Arms, No Legs, No Limits!

"Imagine being born without arms. No arms to wrap around someone, no hands to experience touch, or to hold another hand with. Or what about being born without legs? Having no ability to dance, walk, run, or even stand on two feet. Now put both of those scenarios together: no arms and no legs. What would you do? How would that affect your everyday life?"

Nick Vujicic is an Australian motivational speaker. Without any medical warning he was born without arms and legs. I find him to be amazing, and the way he connects with his audience is touching. Here is the link to one of his video's:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MslbhDZoniY&feature=fvst

The SlutWalk: "We're liberal sluts and damn proud of it."

A Toronto policeman sparked outrage in January 2011 when he stated the following:”Women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimised.” Now not only was the statement immoral, but it came from a figure of authority, a figure that is supposed to symbolise protection, not judgement.

His words inspired the Slut Strut, a protest against women being victimised and raped because of what they wear.

Soon this became international, with women marching in Toronto, Mexico, London, Orlando, Delhi, Melbourne and South Africa. Dressing in mini-skirts, ball gowns, lingerie or simply not dressing at all, women everywhere have been adding their voice to the cause.

In South Africa, rape statistics are atrocious, with an estimation of 500 000 annually. That means women have a bigger chance of being raped than learning to read. In 2008 two taxi-drivers stripped and assaulted a woman at a taxi rank while in the Eastern Cape there are reports of women being harassed for wearing pants.

The Slut Strut, or SlutWalk has become the most successful feminist movement for the last 20 years, with massive support internationally.

Now, the biggest question: did he have a point? Is the way women dress causing attacks? Well, I have always believed in self-expression. Body modification or whatever, they are a personal choice. We live in a day and age where expecting women to dress like nuns is unreasonable, after all these are modern times and we work on practicality.

On the other hand, we also live in an age where men should have evolved from the neanderthal state and should be able to control themselves.

I support the cause 100%. Times are changing and we have no choice but to change with them.

“No matter who you are
No matter where you work
No matter how you identify
No matter how you flirt
No matter what you wear
No matter whom you choose to love
No matter what you said before:

NO ONE has the right to touch you without your consent."