Hiatus

So the holidays have finally hit South Africa : D some of us will be lounging around on beaches, others are working (yay...not). Since I'll be working and lounging (on the couch that is) Under the Sun will be on hiatus until the 17th of June. Enjoy life people, I'll be back before you know it!

A Murderous Brain Teaser: The Backwards Poem

Ladies and Gentlemen, skinny and stout,
I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about;
The Admission is free, so pay at the door,
Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight;
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.

A blind man came to watch fair play,
A mute man came to shout "Hooray!"
A deaf policeman heard the noise and
Came to stop those two dead boys.

He lived on the corner in the middle of the block,
In a two-story house on a vacant lot;
A man with no legs came walking by,
and kicked the lawman in his thigh.

He crashed through a wall without making a sound,
into a dry creek bed and suddenly drowned;
The long black hearse came to cart him away,
But he ran for his life and is still gone today.

I watched from the corner of the big round table,
The only eyewitness to facts of my fable;
But if you doubt my lies are true,
Just ask the blind man, he saw it too.

Jacob Zuma Cartoons: Had To Happen Sometime!

Instead of following up on Julius Malema, I have decided to focus on the newest political clown, Jacob Zuma. The now well-known artist Brett Murray painted the president posing with.... The South African Crown Jewels in full view. This was obviously a satire of the president's inability to pass by a pretty woman without throwing some cows at her dad and whisking her off. "The Spear" instantly became famous after a lawsuit from the ANC, protests, a German buyer, and being vandalised on 22 May. Of course all fingers were pointed at the Apartheid so blah blah nothing new. The best part about this is the jokes, which will follow:

WARNING! NOT FOR ZUMA FANS!

The painting after being vandalised. I guess "The Spear" is "The Paint Splatter" now.

The brilliant Zapiro with his take on the subject.

Comparing Zuma's presidency to that of Nelson Mandela.

It has been rated I see.

Doesn't the president just have the best influence on kids?

I think Zuma should be thanking Brett Murray, it doesn't even look like Jakes!


So all these jokes, but the biggest joke of all is: Has anyone asked the first wives how accurate the painting really is?

 AG SHAME!

Why Women Torture Themselves With High Heels

There's no denying that a woman in 4 inch heels turns heads. There's also no denying that the woman in question is faking her smile while she cries inwardly at the pain her poor toes are going through. The reasons we do this to ourselves differ according to every woman. I like high heels because they give me confidence and make me feel all grown up and smart. Some women use them to impress their friends and colleagues, while some of the single ladies (no-one say Beyonce) obviously use them to find a man.

But these gorgeous shoes are bad for your wallet and your muscles. Still, there we go, torturing our feet so we can feel better emotionally. How sad is that? The general consensus is that heels make you look skinnier, improve your posture and give your confidence a major boost, which makes you more attractive. And there isn't just one type of torture, oh no, there are tons of types to make your toes bleed like:

Wedges, which give a safe but still demurely sexy appearance.

The lower length heel, which shows that you want to be more daring but aren't sure how to get there or pull it off.

Platform high heels (a personal favourite) which show you are an insane, creative person and that you have a very high pain threshold.

Gladiator heels for the girls in touch with their ancient civilisation sides.

The ankle boot, for the sexy but cold during winter.

The high heeled boots, for the inner dominatrix.

  And, finally, shoes that are only appropriate to be seen in the Rocky Horror Picture Show.


Well......... At least they make us look skinny, right?